As Prince William appears to be newly available, I thought I'd offer some advice to our younger lady members who fancy him.

*Get off your keyboard and onto your horse or pony

*Remember that the word 'toilet' is considered terribly infra dig in William's social circle and may only be said in jest

*The word 'meal' is too middle-class - one must refer to breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner

*It is, of course, unacceptable to read novels in drawing-rooms as this would signal one's unavailability

*One must practise one's vowels. 'Golf' must be pronounced 'gauf' even when talking about one's little car

*Young eligible ladies should move from the town to the country, unless the town is London (the Knightsbridge or Chelsea part), Cheltenham or Bath. Just remember not to pronounce it 'Baaf' except, of course, in jest

*Do not try to involve the Prince or his social peers in boincing, though they may be more interested if you pronounce it bonking - but only, again, in jest

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*The word 'meal' is too middle-class - one must refer to breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner

So I take it that 'supper' would be too Americana white trash then also? :P

Decidedly 'trailer-park'. You'd be categorised as a 'grockle' if you used it.

However, wielding a shotgun as one rides around ones paddocks would be considered nearly mandatory.

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I'm not sure whether I'm more shocked at the word 'supper' or the type of informal gathering it suggests (forks in right hands, no-one quite sure where to place the knife, over-sized steaks, asparagus out of season, and so on).

The last American to utter this word in the presence of Royalty was Mrs Simpson, and look where she ended up - in Paris, in a flat.

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I'm not sure whether I'm more shocked at the word 'supper' or the type of informal gathering it suggests (forks in right hands, no-one quite sure where to place the knife, over-sized steaks, asparagus out of season, and so on).

The last American to utter this word in the presence of Royalty was Mrs Simpson, and look where she ended up - in Paris, in a flat.

All of this snobishnes is really too middle class for words.

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I applaud your deprecation of everything 'middle-class'.

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I applaud your deprecation of everything 'middle-class'.

I don't know about you, but I'm off for a bit of tiffin...

..and you can keep your hands off my asparagus tips...

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Remember...Always look on the bright side of life.

So how does one peel a banana with a knife and fork?

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So how does one peel a banana with a knife and fork?

Very carefully.

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Remember...Always look on the bright side of life.

Really one has to be very careful...lol

One of my more awkward social moments was being one of only two non-Chinese people in a Beijing university restaurant and being presented for breakfast with a hard-boiled egg in shell and a pair of chopsticks.

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One of my more awkward social moments was being one of only two non-Chinese people in a Beijing university restaurant and being presented for breakfast with a hard-boiled egg in shell and a pair of chopsticks.

LOL. That gave me a chuckle this morning. I went to Korea without any idea how to use chopsticks.

Let's just say I learned *very* fast.

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Kathryn :o)

The embarrassing thing was that all the Chinese people were watching us very discreetly to see what we'd do and how we would or wouldn't manage, so we didn't dare look to see what they were doing with their eggs.

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