Mark Sattler's self-penned biography about being banished, life, death, drinking, Seti and related matters

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msattler

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Message 64206 - Posted: 12 Sep 2015, 22:49:48 UTC - in response to Message 64205.  

You can?
I do not supppose you are able to, as I can.

Try as you may............. It is not the notes, is is the soul, man.
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Profile Jord
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Message 64213 - Posted: 13 Sep 2015, 12:22:57 UTC
Last modified: 13 Sep 2015, 13:35:11 UTC

This here thread is for Mark Sattler to post anything he likes into. This to relieve the Seti is down thread from the constant bombardment of these posts. Now there is no reason for Mark to post that in the Seti thread, he can leave them here.

Of course, if he feels this thread is not for him and he wants to continue to post in the Seti is down thread, the moderators here will give him a 12 hour banishment to sober up and depending on who does it and their mood, either move all posts to this thread, or delete them. Who cares.

21 posts moved. Just like Knut your own thread to be yourself in. Your own rules (within reason). A great and easily untenable thread ID: 10500. What do you want more?

A thank you would be nice. A sorry to everyone around here as well.

One thing: When Mark is banished, all his posts are hidden for the public. That means that this thread can look weird. But that said, if all is well, Mark won't be banished again as there's no reason to, is there Mark? :)
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Profile Gary Charpentier
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Message 64216 - Posted: 13 Sep 2015, 17:26:50 UTC - in response to Message 64215.  

Hope springs eternal and Bill W will always make another friend.
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Message 64219 - Posted: 13 Sep 2015, 23:26:34 UTC

...I am not there just yet.
But every second of every minute, I promise you I am getting closer.
No BS, my friends. ...


Mark, if/when you ever become serious about recovery from addiction, begin by talking to your union rep. or your HR manager at work. Find out what types of inpatient programs are available for the treatment of alcoholism under your insurance plan and get yourself admitted. Take a leave of absence from your job, file for disability while you are in treatment, and get started on the path to recovery.

You post that you have abused alcohol for 40 years. You need an inpatient program to begin you on the road to recovery. Starting with an outpatient program will not help you manage the medical issues that come up when you quit drinking after such a long history of abuse.

I believe that you will find much support along the way if you honestly and earnestly begin the process of addiction recovery.
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msattler

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Message 64222 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 1:03:15 UTC - in response to Message 64219.  

...I am not there just yet.
But every second of every minute, I promise you I am getting closer.
No BS, my friends. ...


Mark, if/when you ever become serious about recovery from addiction, begin by talking to your union rep. or your HR manager at work. Find out what types of inpatient programs are available for the treatment of alcoholism under your insurance plan and get yourself admitted. Take a leave of absence from your job, file for disability while you are in treatment, and get started on the path to recovery.

You post that you have abused alcohol for 40 years. You need an inpatient program to begin you on the road to recovery. Starting with an outpatient program will not help you manage the medical issues that come up when you quit drinking after such a long history of abuse.

I believe that you will find much support along the way if you honestly and earnestly begin the process of addiction recovery.

As I have indicated, I somehow retain the title of 'functional alcoholic', and how I do it some times is beyond even me.

I do NOT go to work impaired. I'll take a day off before that happens.
What medical issues shall arise, I can manage.
I am a pretty strapping lad for my 58 years on the planet.

And your belief in me goes a long way towards my end game.
I am not sure I shall ever get there, but a man has to take one step before the other falls, eh?

One step, then another, and you finally get somewhere.
And I'll admit, this is something I have to do.
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msattler

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Message 64223 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 1:05:56 UTC

And Jord, I am not so sure I appreciate your thread title about 'frivolous'.
This may seem so to some, but this is my LIFE we are talking about here.
Perhaps an edit, my friend?
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msattler

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Message 64224 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 1:09:54 UTC

Exs and ohs.........
I have more than my share.

Wanna share?
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msattler

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Message 64225 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 3:16:17 UTC

I never left, hon.

I never left you.
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msattler

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Message 64226 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 3:20:51 UTC

It is with a grain of salt that I post this.
Robin Williams was an amazing comedian and a wonderful man.
I get mixed emotions watching his last few performances.
Knowing what would come,.

I bind my wounds where I can.

I do miss him so much.
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msattler

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Message 64227 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 3:24:08 UTC - in response to Message 64226.  

It is with a grain of salt that I post this.
Robin Williams was an amazing comedian and a wonderful man.
I get mixed emotions watching his last few performances.
Knowing what would come,.

I bind my wounds where I can.

I do miss him so much.

And, he had not problem telling is like it is.
Being an ex-alcoholic, his is specially enabled to tell the truth about the disease.
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Message 64240 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 15:59:24 UTC - in response to Message 64223.  

And Jord, I am not so sure I appreciate your thread title about 'frivolous'.

Since you're unconcernedly posting your life's material in threads that have nothing to do with it, in the process annoying the rest of the constabulary, I could probably change it to facetious, shallow, thoughtless, ill-considered, silly, foolish, superficial, light-minded, whimsical, skittish, irresponsible, empty-headed, pea-brained or vapid. But then you might want frivolous instead, as that covers the contents best.

So therefore I am not going to change it.

Also, when I make such a thread for you, I expect it'll be used by you for just such musings. Not that you continue to off-load them in the Seti is down thread.

So, here's one extra rule from now on. Either you post your thoughts, musings, drunken sways and rants into this thread, or when you continue to put them into the Seti is down thread, I will go delete them. Not hide, but delete. Delete does not send an email with the contents and a warning.

You will probably prefer the latter, but as I already said earlier in this thread and also again through the move post email, I am not your personal servant who will clean up after you the day after you decided that the rules are not for you to follow.

My patience is wearing thin. Doesn't matter how many large apologies you send my way. If that same day after the apology you already forget what you just apologized for and that you promised you'd better yourself, why would I believe any of it?
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Profile Gary Charpentier
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Message 64244 - Posted: 14 Sep 2015, 17:49:42 UTC - in response to Message 64240.  

I'll add you already have your own thread
http://boinc.berkeley.edu/dev/forum_thread.php?id=9885
so you can change the title on that to your hearts content. I'm sure you can also post what ever your muse strikes there.
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msattler

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Message 64279 - Posted: 15 Sep 2015, 18:06:17 UTC - in response to Message 64258.  
Last modified: 15 Sep 2015, 18:16:29 UTC

I think Mark has got the message spelt out loud and clear by Jord. Nobody is saying that his life is frivolous, people are commenting that the stuff that he posts while drinking is, that is a different matter. I know why Mark drinks and I know why he fantasises at weekends, and he knows that I do. Those symptoms are the result of the main underlying problem that he has to deal with.

I'm yet to be convinced that having an outlet for those symptoms at Boinc projects is doing him any long term good. Rather it's putting off the day that his body rebels at its treatment, and forces him to take actions that he could voluntarily take now.

Being a functional alcoholic is always necessarily walking a thin line, always trying to avoid the dark side taking over. But walk that line long enough and one day it will.

Yes, Chris. I have walked that thin line for many many years now. I still feel that I am strong enough to keep the dark side from totally taking over.
It sometimes is when a man does NOT vent certain things that he is in danger of losing it completely.

And I will say that the understanding of a few here on Boinc/Seti DOES do me a lot of good at times, and I thank those that do show their compassion for me.

Thank you.

Mark
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msattler

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Message 64619 - Posted: 2 Oct 2015, 19:34:05 UTC

What does not seemn to get thorough here is.............
I get I am scared of dying lately.

And I am getting close, I fear.

Signposts along the way, such as I bother to read them.
It's getting close. Way too close.

If this bothers some, think of how it bothers me.


The kittyman is running hard and fast to the end.
I have to make my mark.
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msattler

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Message 64623 - Posted: 2 Oct 2015, 20:01:41 UTC
Last modified: 2 Oct 2015, 20:08:41 UTC

I worked all week without a sip.
And the problem was, as I thought, no much better than what you call 'real life'

I am going down, kids. I am leaving the scene, as they say.
I am not going to be here a year or even months from here.

It is coming, and way too fast, I might add.
This is no joke..........

I shall hold up my job until the end....
Things even now seem to be a problem, but HR has no clue yet.
Others in the hallway to and fro, have not yet called HR to tell them than I am a blank clue card. I can still do my job. Correctly and fully, and the day I cannot,, I shall sit back in a firetruck and cry myself to death...........except for my kitties.-

Yes. The truth is a very scared little kittem/
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Message 64624 - Posted: 2 Oct 2015, 20:15:05 UTC - in response to Message 64623.  

I worked all week without a sip.
And the problem was, as I thought, no much better than what you call 'real life'

I am going down, kids. I am leaving the scene, as they say.
I am not going to be here a year or even months from here.

It is coming, and way too fast, I might add.
This is no joke..........

I shall hold up my job until the end....
Things even now seem to be a problem, but HR has no clue yet.
Others in the hallway to and fro, have not yet called HR to tell them than I am a blank clue card. I can still do my job. Correctly and fully, and the day I cannot,, I shall sit back in a firetruck and cry myself to death...........except for my kitties.-

Yes. The truth is a very scared little kittem/


I worry most about my kitties. I know I have made arrangements, but they will not understand if I leave them.
3 cats on the bed, and no Dad.
I can only wonder how much they shall miss me/.
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msattler

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Message 64625 - Posted: 2 Oct 2015, 20:24:03 UTC - in response to Message 64624.  

Yes, I guess I a;m very scared right now, and acary to most of you as well.

[url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yq0FbATfG4]I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo
scared.{/url}
Please stay with me on this journey,,,,,
I shall try to be strong, but I have always been an emotional kitten.
I may not be here to apologize a year from now, you see.
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msattler

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Message 64662 - Posted: 4 Oct 2015, 5:39:39 UTC - in response to Message 64648.  

Sad to see yet another holiday at the other place :-(

It's not so bad as some suppose.
Takes me back a bit, but I still have the kitties to fall back upon.
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Message 64663 - Posted: 4 Oct 2015, 5:51:47 UTC

Kitty Midnight Madness sale...
If you don't find a cat you like, we'll give you a f'n dog....LOL.
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msattler

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Message 64788 - Posted: 9 Oct 2015, 7:47:46 UTC
Last modified: 9 Oct 2015, 7:49:29 UTC

As often happens, when the Setimods send the kitties off on forced walkabout, I run across something nice to share.
They snooze, they lose.

Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats Just hit the 'play all' button.
Great blues/R&B/soul/rock band.
Some very wonderful things here.

I will not be reposting this there for their benefit.

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow.
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Message boards : The Lounge : Mark Sattler's self-penned biography about being banished, life, death, drinking, Seti and related matters

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