Dr David Anderson, the founder of Boinc, is increasingly concerned that a growing number of Boinc volunteers are spending so much time and money on extra computers and GPU cards that they are now neglecting their person. Some are unpresentable in public and no longer reflect Boinc Corporate Standards. He has asked me to edit a magazine containing helpful hints and suggestions for Boinc Users. I was honored to accept.

First, the evidence from Berkeley:



You will notice the close correlation and causal effects. Here is incontrovertible evidence that a mounting proportion of volunteers spend both night and day wearing pyjamas, rendering themselves unable to represent the high standards of Boinc in public life.

There is, however, a perfect solution for the Volunteer Ladies. Here is the ideal garment for you:



These are pyjamas. But how chic! By adding smart shoes and the matching scarf you can wear the same garment during the day and even go to work! The pyjamas only cost £5/$7 during the recent sale (scarf not included). Fashion, economy and Boinc Standards at last coincide!

Warning from the Boinc staff in Berkeley, University of California: The scarf must not be worn in bed lest it result in accidental strangulation.

Edition 1.2 of the magazine will carry suggestions for the Gentleman Volunteers and 1.3 will be devoted to personal hygiene.

Mo Vilar

Berkeley, CA

1 April 2010

I am pleased to see that your new President, with his well-known interest in BOINC (and exemplifying the trend which Mo's research reveals), is taking active steps to alleviate the supposed "problem".

When the merger of the United States and China is complete, all the family will be able to participate in BOINC without shame. Scientific research will gain a massive influx of new participants, and a new golden era of mass-participation Citizen Science will be ushered in.